Dear Universe

Dear Universe,
Hi! Remember me? It's me, the girl who doesn't know what she wants to do when she grows up...It's been 31 years since we met and we just had that conversation the other day where you asked me again what I wanted to do, I said I still didn't know, and then you replied that in that case you still couldn't give it to me. I understand the reasoning behind that, I really do, but dear Universe, what's a girl to do? I mean, at some level, I do have some clue about what I really want to do...But then you never told me that I had to know WAY in advance, in order to prepare for it, like maybe around the time I was starting high school? Do you remember what I was like back then? If I have no clue now, boy had I not a clue then. What is it that I'm doing wrong? I know it has something to do with bad choices regarding career moves within the last 6 years, that part is clear as day to me now. But what am I to do? Really, is this how it's going to be for the rest of my life? I could definitely use some guidance.
Thanks...
PS: All the other stuff you unexpectedly threw my way along the years is greatly appreciated. I am sorry for not appreciating most of it at the time and I know you're tired of hearing me complain for the stupid mistakes I make. I understand things could be much worse...But things could be better, too, you know and I am not going to pretend I am content with not having a job. I am grateful but I don't want that thought to stop me from growing and making progress...After all, I know I can be much more than what I am now, and I want to be productive and put in my share for humanity. I want to be of use, and that sure ain't gonna happen with me sitting here and thinking how things could be worse in my life.