Masters of the Universe

Every month for the past few months, I've been looking forward to picking up my copy of Skirt magazine at my local coffee shop. It's free, and so much fun to read, and it's newly being published/distributed in my neck of the woods. I love how the "theme" this month is all about "letting go of happy endings and living the imperfect life", taking things as they come, enjoying each day...On the cover, there is a quote by Larry Eisenberg that goes: "For peace of mind, we need to resign as general manager of the universe". I love that quote, as it sums up how I've been trying to live the past couple of years, the important part in this sentence being "trying".

About 3.5 years ago, I had an eye-opening experience-I sort of got dumped (I say sort of, because I actually did the "dumping" part, but was a miserable mess afterwards for a very long time. Although this person would not dump me, he left me no other choice, because he wanted to have his cake and eat it, too, and no matter how painful the whole break-up was, I could not live with myself if I chose to "stay". So dumping was my only choice although it wasn't so much the way I wanted things to be.) It was "eye-opening" to say the least because that whole process of being dumped, being miserable, and "healing" changed the way I see things in life (and not just about relationships), probably forever. There is some truth to that old saying that goes "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". The biggest thing I've learned from that break-up is the fact that we can never control other people---nor should we ever attempt to. The other thing is that no one and nothing has an obligation to fulfill our needs and wants (as one of my friends told me, and it took me some time to grasp that). I realized that by setting "expectations" for others to "fulfill", I was setting myself up for disappointment big time. Trying to be in control of things that I really had no control over seemed to be driving me crazy and tiring me out, and really frustrating the people on the other end...Then I let go... I made a conscious decision to take things as they come, love everyone as they are without trying to change them, and live my life a little more "imperfectly", embracing the bumps and hardships on the way, instead of thinking "this isn't supposed to happen to me, I'm a good person, I care too much and in return I deserve good things in life". I stopped trying to be a "people-pleaser" at the expense of my own energy to some degree. And lo-and-behold, I started "enjoying" myself again, actually a lot more than before. I was "alone" but really happy. That period of my life was probably the period I decided how I wanted things to be in my life and took control of the things I really could control:me and myself. I ate healthy, I exercised regularly, I went out, laughed, flirted, dated, and did a few things that now I look back and think "what the hell was I thinking???". But without any doubt, to me, those days were the best time of my life. Looking back, for my own personal growth, and for me to stop "trying to be the general manager of the universe", and also to get over the "silly young girl" phase, I needed that heartache and the whole mess that I got myself into then. It helped me mature, get my priorities straight, understand that I am the only one I am in charge of controlling. And just as I thought I was mastering the whole "cool single chick" thing and loving it, the love of my life showed up (but I wouldn't know that for a while because I was just "enjoying" myself too much at the time, and didn't think I wanted to be in a relationship)...Life is funny like that sometimes...

Clean off your plate! :)

Well, this article I saw in the NY Times the other day really made me sad. With the economy being what it is right now, and the prices for everything increasing like mad (I think grocery prices rose something like 2.9% within the last couple of months), it's impossible to read something like this, and not think "what the heck are we doing???"...

Last semester when I was teaching, my students had to break into groups and evaluate different services/places on campus, and come up with suggestions for what could be done to make things better. One group was assigned to "cafeteria services"...Apart from the usual complaints that cafeteria staff "hated students" and "had attitude problems" as they put it, the biggest observation they made was the amount of food that was wasted every day, both by students from their plates, and at the end of the day when the cafeteria was closed. They suggested that all the uneaten food should be packed and sent to a shelter or food bank at the end of the day. I know the cafeteria is doing something about reducing food wastage right now-like limiting the amount of food students can put on their trays, but allowing them a second entrance if they're still hungry. I'm not sure what happens to the food left over at the end of the day.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this article...And I loved that paragraph where "someone" commented on India's growing "middle class" food need. Hey wait, thanks to him, we have no idea what middle class is here anymore! Tsk tsk...