Big three-oh minus one

I turned 29 today!!! I'm not one to make a big deal out of birthdays, but it kinda feels weird to know I've got only one year left and then I'll be 30! Yeah yeah-age is just a number, but there's some stigma attached to 30, and especially when I think about what I've yet to accomplish (finish Ph.D., get a "real" job, have a family at some point etc. etc.), it feels like I'm kinda missing the train!!!

Don't damn me...

Today, I think it' only fair that I share with you where my blog title comes from. This is one of my favorite Guns N' Roses songs...Gn'R happens to be one of my all time favorite bands, because I find their lyrics very poetic and their music very full of rhythm and energy. And since I tend to like songs for those two things mostly (lyrics and "energy") they kinda make the top of the list for me.

This song is (as I understand it) mostly about being hypocritical, and avoiding saying things that we think are true, because we fear it'll anger someone or get a reaction out of them. I questioned before whether being politically correct was better than being at each others' throats all the time- and the answer is probably yes, it's much better...But now I ask you this: Where does being politically correct end and being a hypocritical liar start?

Don't Damn Me Lyrics by Guns N' Roses

Don't damn me
When I speak a piece of my mind
'Cause silence isn't golden
When I'm holding it inside
'Cause I've been where I have been
An I've seen what I have seen
I put the pen to the paper
'Cause it's all a part of me

Be it a song or casual conversation
To hold my tongue speaks
Of quiet reservations
Your words once heard
They can place you in a faction
My words may disturb
But at least there's a reaction

Sometimes I wanna kill
Sometimes I wanna die
Sometimes I wanna destroy
Sometimes I wanna cry
Sometimes I could get even
Sometimes I could give up
Sometimes I could give
Sometimes I never give a fuck

It's only for a while
I hope you understand
I never wanted this to happen
Didn't want to be a man
So I hid inside my world
I took what I could find
I cried when I was lonely
I fell down when I was blind

But don't damn me
When I speak a piece of my mind
'Cause silence isn't golden
When I'm holding it inside
'Cause I've been where I have been
An I've seen what I have seen
I put the pen to the paper
'Cause it's all a part of me

How can I ever satisfy you
An how can I ever make you see
That deep inside we're all somebody
An it don't matter who you wanna be
But now I gotta smile
I hope you comprehend
For this man can say it happened
'Cause this child has been condemned
So I stepped into your world
I kicked you in the mind
An I'm the only witness
To the nature of my crime

But look at what we've done
To the innocent and young
Whoa listen to who's talking
'Cause we're not the only ones
The trash collected by the eyes
And dumped into the brain
Said it tears into our
conscious thoughts
You tell me who's to blame

I know you don't wanna hear me cryin'
An I know you don't wanna hear me deny
That your satisfaction lies in your ILLUSIONS
But your delusions are yours and not mine
We take for granted we know the whole story
We judge a book by its cover
And read what we want
Between selected lines

Don't hail me
An don't idolize the ink
Or I've failed in my intentions
Can you find the missing link
Your only validation is living your own life

Vicarious existence is a fucking waste of time
So I send this song to the offended
I said what I meant and I've never pretended
As so many others do intending just to please
If I damned your point of view
Could you turn the other cheek

But don't damn me
When I speak a piece of my mind
'Cause silence isn't golden
When I'm holding it inside
'Cause I've been where I have been
An I've seen what I have seen
I put the pen to the paper
'Cause it's all a part of me
Don't damn me
I said don't damn me
I said don't hail me
Don't damn me

The Omnivore's Dilemma

I am on a semi-healthy eating kick lately...I try to avoid empty carbs, and try to eat a lot of fiber and the healthy kind of oils-the ones loaded with mono and poly unsaturated fats, i.e. olive oil, as much as I can...I try to buy organic stuff as my budget allows (especially eggs and milk, because otherwise they're horribly hormone laden!)...I've been thinking about going to farmer's markets, although I haven't been able to go to the one we have in town, yet. I heard that they're going to close soon to open up shop at a bigger place much closer to my place, so I hope to frequent the place then. I've never been to a farmer's market here (I've been to a few farms to pick apples, etc.), and have no idea what to expect as far as quality and prices go (I am guessing better and lower than "industrial-organic" respectively), but I guess I'll find out when I go. This is mostly so I can eat stuff that is relatively healthy, but also somewhat because I want to help the local farmers/economy in the name of leading a more "sustainable" life.

The book that I'm reading right now, The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals, by Michael Pollan, opened up my eyes to a whole different world as far as food/eating goes. Most of the stuff in the book, I thought I knew...But still the book managed to surprise me on so many levels, and made me question my own eating habits (which are generally quite healthy when compared to what the general population eats. I am by nature not a "snacker", and that kind of helps me stay away from donuts, cookies, chips, etc. I only eat 3 meals a day, and never skip breakfast, because I can't function otherwise LOL and avoid fastfood as much as I can) But who knew that even with healthy choices, that most of the stuff we're eating might just come from corn (did you know that a Twinkie is almost entirely made of corn????) or lack "real" nutrition, and that most of the stuff labeled as "organic" is actually-yeah hormone and chemical free- but does not necessarily come from sustainable practices? For me at least, when I read "organic" I kinda tend to think "sustainable practices", which is not the case.

It's amazing how the "industrial agriculture/food" system works. From feeding cows other cows and corn instead of grass (to make them grow faster and also to get rid of the excess amount of corn that is grown-this is for ALL the meat we buy from the supermarket unless it is labeled as "free-range") to making sure we process foods so that there's only a suggestion of nutrition in them (just so we can add it back to them artificially and "fortify" them), we have managed to make something that should be simple very complicated (and unhealthy). Of course there are so many sides of the mirror here-from making sure we have enough cheap food for everyone to how much the government plays a role in the whole thing to drive the economy, but still...We are tinkering with food too much, period.

There's a passage in the book where the author talks about a cereal or something-I can't remember what exactly, and mentions that it says on the box something like "now you can have your food with fruit in it", and says "I thought fruit itself was food!"...When you think about it, it's appalling what we consider "real food" these days. And everyone knows that to be able to get quality nutritious food, you have to shell out a lot of money-it ain't cheap. So what we're paying for when we buy cheaper, processed/nonlocal food most of the time is chemical-and-hormone dosed, more-energy-intensive-to-grow-than-the-calories-it-provides, processed-to-nothing illusion of food.

This book is a great journey through the twisted land of bountiful (yet artificial) land of food. If you think you know what's going to be on your plate for your next meal, read this book, and you'll sure change your mind.

Word of the day:Anxiety

Anx·i·e·ty (āng-zī'ĭ-tē) *
n. pl. anx·i·e·ties

1. 1. A state of uneasiness and apprehension, as about future uncertainties.
   2. A cause of anxiety: For some people, air travel is a real anxiety.
2. Psychiatry A state of apprehension, uncertainty, and fear resulting from the anticipation of a realistic or fantasized threatening event or situation, often impairing physical and psychological functioning.
3. Eager, often agitated desire: my anxiety to make a good impression.

In my case, definitely 1a, and somewhat 2.... :S


* "anxiety." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. 07 Dec. 2007. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/anxiety>.

Some days...

I feel like hiring a personal assistant...I've got so much stuff going on lately that I find myself unable to do most of them, and paralyzed by stress. I hate bureaucracy and doing paperwork...Grrrrrrrr!

Something to think about today

As I get ready to buckle down to do some writing for my dissertation, I wanted to share these quotes with you. For those of us who're trying to go where noone has gone before with research (whoa, that sounds way cooler than I thought it would), etc., it's a constant struggle to be able to look at things from different perspectives and to not be tied down by what we have already been taught, the conventional methods and systems (which can sort of give you horse vision). I guess it's sort of similar to being able to think "outside the box".

But of course, these don't only apply to "disserting" but to every other aspect of our lives, too... And surely, these quotes are not anti-education, and I'm not anti-education (duh, I've been in school for how long now???? ). :D

"The difficulty lies, not in the new ideas, but in escaping the old ones, which ramify, for those brought up as most of us have been, into every corner of our minds."
John Maynard Keynes

"Men are born ignorant, not stupid; they are made stupid by education."
Bertrand Russel

The Golden Compass---Is it evil?

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Golden_Compass_(film) :

"On October 7, 2007 the Catholic League called for a boycott of the film. League president William A. Donohue said he would not ordinarily object to the film, but that while the religious elements will be diluted from the source material, the film will encourage children to read the novels, which he says "denigrate Christianity" and promote "atheism for kids." "

Gasp! God forbid children read something that encourages them to think critically (yeah I'm being sarcastic here). I don't get it...If you have faith, what are you exactly afraid of? If religious views can be swayed by reading a series of fantasy novels, then maybe the basis is not so sound after all...And noone makes a racket about children being brainwashed by reading Chronicles of Narnia. What's this double standard all about? Where does this criticism/controversy put us regarding freedom of speech, respecting others' rights to express their religious views, etc.?

Parents mostly have control of their children. If they find the movie at odds with their beliefs, then they can keep their children from seeing it. But trying to stop this movie from being shown is ridiculous...It's almost like saying "we're not going to publish the books either, lest children read them and become atheists". It is so ironic how the books criticize the stronghold of the Church (or organized religion in a broader perspective) over humanity, and the institution being criticized validates the concerns by acting exactly the way criticized.